Anne Whalley

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Introvert or Extrovert? All is not as it seems!!

Are you an Introvert or Extrovert? In my personal experience...Loud people aren't always Extroverts and Quiet people aren't always Introverts!! We need to dig deeper to decifer the correct diagnosis.

Listening to a person's conversation is the key to classifying whether a person is an Introvert or Extrovert! Extroverts are interested in other people and Introverts are interested in themselves!! So think about that. Consider your conversations. Are you asking questions about the other person or are you telling the other person about you?? 

We all start out as introverts. If we didn't we would not be alive now!! Imagine a baby putting other people first....ridiculous really! A baby's sole aim is to be fed, comfortable and warm. Their main goal is to survive. Crying is a language they use to alert others of their needs.

As life dictates, some people do not get their needs met. Some of these unmet needs may be recognition, acceptance, security, safety, significance, fulfillment... there are more...When people's needs aren't satisfied then their main focus is to fulfill their needs!! When you are thirsty you can't just get over thirst. The need must be met and finding water is the person's focus.

The subject of our conversation is the biggest clue to who we are interested in. Oh by the way, it's not evil to be either an extrovert or an Introvert!

Knowing who you are talking to helps you manage your time. I don't have time to listen to a monologue of everything a person does in a day. I have my own day and that is enough for me. Being aware that these conversations can get out of hand I manage to make sure it is more balanced and not so one sided. It's healthier for both of us. I don't want to be rude but a one sided conversation is a bit boring. I really have to laugh when it's time for me to leave and that's when the outgoing questions get asked!! Sorry no time left.

Just consider the people who talk a lot. If they are asking questions and listening to the answers...they could be quiet extroverts. As an extrovert myself, I love listening to people, hearing their story and sharing my thoughts. I love public speaking. I love getting to know people. I do need quiet time in my day to recharge and get my work done too. In a room full of people, I prefer to speak one on one.

Some introverts are noisy!! They can hog conversations and are classified as extroverts. Their conversation can be entertaining and fun! If their subject matter is themselves... Then they could be noisy introverts.

What about people who look like they are listening to someone but in reality they are thinking about what they are going to say next! We are probably all guilty of this one!!

Being aware of what our subject matter is, helps. Everyone should have the opportunity to share what they have to say. Letting people have total control over the conversation isn't good for either party. Look at how you conduct your conversations. We have two ears and one mouth. If everyone used their ears more than their mouths, we might find out some really interesting things. Let quiet people have their time to share. Listen. Get to know the quiet someone in your group. Be the audience as well as the star.

Try to avoid .... "Now enough about me, let's talk about you!

What you think of me!" :-(


Have some fun working out who you are! Practise speaking up if you don't normally talk much, listen if you normally talk a lot.

Follow me on Instagram and Subscribe to my YouTube @annewhalley to see what I'm up to with life, style and fabric!!!

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